


Lovesick

by sharedwithyou



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angstangstangst, But Tony Stark Does What He Wants, F/M, Humor, I'm Sorry, Infidelity, Mindfuck, Possible Triggers?, So Tony Doesn't Get A Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Triggers, mostly angst, that escalated quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Look me in the eyes and say it.”<br/>“I didn’t do it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Problems in paradise?” Clint snickered as Nat the Cat ushered him towards the elevator before the rest of the crowd high-tailed it to the lobby.<br/>“We’re fine.” You glowered in his general direction as Tony lowkey made a throat-cutting motion over your ear to Pepper, asking her to get rid of everyone in a faster fashion. Mostly because he suspected not-really-make-up-but-still-hot-and-heavy sex was on the horizon.<br/>“Are we, though?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovesick

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY!!!!!
> 
> warning: possible triggeres  
> I didn't realize how sad some of my fics were, so I'm leaving this here now. This one is very sad. The relationship is very broken. Read at your own discretion.
> 
> Give me some love if you liked!!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky
> 
> p.s. Bad Tony

 

 

“Look me in the eyes and say it.”

“I didn’t do it.”

“That’s my chin, Tony.”

“I’m looking right at you (y/n)!”

Bucky shook his head as he walked right past the two of you in your lovers’ tiff.

“Move those poop brown orbs up two inches.”

“Fine.”

“That’s my nose!!”

“Damnit (y/n)!” Tony put his hands on your shoulders and resisted the urge to shake you. “For the last time, I did not make out with that blonde slut!”

“Her name was Michelle.”

“And the fact that I didn’t even know that doesn’t help my case??”

“The words blonde and slut sure helped.”

 

“Problems in paradise?” Clint snickered as Nat the Cat ushered him towards the elevator before the rest of the crowd high-tailed it to the lobby.

“We’re fine.” You glowered in his general direction as Tony lowkey made a throat-cutting motion over your ear to Pepper, asking her to get rid of everyone in a faster fashion. Mostly because he suspected not-really-make-up-but-still-hot-and-heavy sex was on the horizon.

“Are we, though?”

He looked right at you now, searching for signs of doubt behind the insecurity. You let out a sigh and rested your head on his chest. “I guess.”

“Good. Now let’s get you to bed.” He picked you up and slung you over his shoulder, putting his hand on your butt for the rare reason of keeping your skirt down.

Steve looked back to make sure the two of you were alright, and turned pink. That was enough PDA for the month.

“It’s just my hand and her ass, Capsicle. Deal with it.”

“I am,” he called, safely behind the closing doors of the elevator.

 

“Cheerio?”

“Nah. Thanks.” You pulled a pillow from the couch where your bestie was sitting and curled up with it on the shaggy carpet in front of the flat screen. “Real Housewives again?”

“Got tired of Mentalist.”

“The blonde guy is hot.”

“And I’m not gay.”

“I’m sure that model from Pahree whose number you were unsuccessful in retrieving would agree.” You smirked as Clint threw a piece of cereal in your direction.

“Just because I don’t fuck everything with boobs and legs like your boy toy does, doesn’t mean I’m not completely hetero.”

“Hey. Uncalled for.”

“You started it.”

You gave him the middle finger, your shared sign of truce, and he patted your head in agreement.

“So you do think he really did it?”

“Do I think who really did what?”

“Who do you think you’re fooling?!”

You banged your head against the couch legs in response. “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure he didn’t, since that’s what my gut tells me. I tend to listen to it. But I never really know these days.”

“Geez, why don’t you dump him already?”

“The perks.” You wiggled your eyebrows and he made a barfing sound.

“Since you’re not in bed with him currently, I assume you’re insinuating facetiously.”

“Stop being so condescending.”

“Girl, you be frontin about the sex.”

“Oh for God’s sake.” You were going to make him stop watching Jersey Shore any day now. “You know Tony doesn’t like cuddling anyway. So you could be totally wrong.”

“And I’m totally not straight.”

“You said it, not me.”

He whapped you in the head with a cushion, before putting his half-empty (or was it half-full) bowl in front of you. “Eat. You gotta keep those three MangoTini’s down.”

“I didn’t actually drink any of those. I snuck ‘em off to Bruce. He’s too embarrassed to order anything other than Whiskey.”

“Hmm. I’m impressed.” Even he hadn’t noticed you slipping the booze away. You were getting better at hiding things, even from his SuperDuperSpySkills.

Not a good sign.

“Three drinks is usually enough to start an argument if I need to though.”

“And tonight it was because…”

“Saw him coming down the hall wiping lipstick off his mouth.”

“…Really, (y/n)?” Clint mushed your face, frustrated. “You didn’t hand him his ass for that??”

“He said he was giving mouth to mouth to Michelle after she passed out.”

“…you didn’t really buy that, did you?”

“Well, she does have low blood sugar. And she did have a bruise on her elbow.”

He looked at you thoughtfully. “Well, at least you’re getting better with your observational skills young grasshopper.”

“Thanks, Yoda.”

“Now if you’d stop missing the curbs and tripping, that would be super.”

“No can do. I only notice my surroundings if I think Tony’s feeling frisky. Around other women, I mean.”

“Fair enough.”

“Now go fill this bowl up. I ain’t eating your leftovers unless I get more milk.”

 

“So… did you do it?”

“If I just say yes will you stop bothering me?!” Tony tried to grab his microscope back from an upside-down-bungee-ing Clint.

“Only if it’s the truth.”

“Well I’ve been saying no the past ten minutes and you have NOT left me alone!!”

“Because I don’t believe you.”

“Then I’ll say yes!”

“But I’ll think you’re saying it just to make me go away, and be unsatisfied.”

“Fine.” Tony covered his temples, ignoring his splitting headache, and decided to speak logically. “Let’s say I did. I wouldn’t tell you anyway because you’re a blab. And even if you do manage to keep it a secret, the first person you would tell would be my girlfriend. Not just out of principle, but habit.”

“Like the time you tried to give yourself a prostate ex-“

“Exactly!” He turned bright red, remembering how you had gotten a black eye from falling off the bed laughing. That was one long story that the Urgent Care nurse had not appreciated. Or believed.

“Hmm. That makes sense. So I guess I should just assume you did, in fact, make out with Michelle. That works.”

“That’s not- you know what, you do that.” Tony snatched his microscope back, finally, and rooted through his slides moodily. “(y/n) will believe what she wants to.”

“If she really could, she’d be a lot happier.”

 

Tony took off his glasses and rubbed his face, exhaling loudly. “I know,” he finally spoke quietly.

“I’m not sure you do.”

He shook his head. “I may be an egomaniac, but I’m not blind. She hasn’t been happy in a while.”

“So why don’t you just break up with her?”

“What are you, the breakup police?”

“As a matter of fact, I am.”

“Well I’m not going to.”

“You’d rather cheat on her behi-“

“For the last time, I did not!”

“Sure, sure.”

“Michelle really did faint! And my lips were on hers only while I was pumping her admittedly well-endowed chest.”

Clint landed expertly and took one long look at the exasperated scientist. “I see.”

“And therefore the so-called kiss was only about 2.5 seconds.”

Clint nodded slowly. “Okay. That doesn’t count. Only 3 seconds or more counts as a real cheating-kiss.”

“Thank you.” Tony drawled, before going back to his notes. For like a minute. Then his head snapped back up.

“Wait! What made you finally believe me?!”

“You finally used her name.”

“So?!?!”

“So you met twice before. You definitely knew her name. The fact that you pretended not to, to seem more distanced than you really were, seemed to indicate guilt. Or culpability.”

“Jesus. Lay off the psych 101 will you?”

“Gladly. When you stop being an absolute fuckface.”

“…” Tony had no more words for the Superspy, which Clint took as a victory.

“I’ll be off then. To tell (y/n) her gut was right.”

He was halfway up the vent when Tony called out meekly. “It may have been more like 3.5 seconds.”

“Tony…”

“I may have lingered slightly when she woke up.”

“…You’re. Dead.”

“HELP!”

 

“Wanna hit the gym, Hawk?”

You were stretching in a random hall when your best friend breezed past you, red-faced and sweaty.

“No thanks. Already worked out.”

“I can tell.” You opened your mouth to start a conversation, but he was already almost to the stairwell. Weird. “Well, if you need me I’ll be sparring with Nat.” You called to the back of his head.

“Kay.”

“Hmm, wonder who ruffled his feathers?”

“Not funny, (y/n).”

 

“Nice block.” Nat the Cat performed a sweeping gale while keeping her haircut perfect.

Yours was most definitely a rats nest now, but at least you avoided her next kick. “Thanks,” you wheezed.

“You want to take a break? We’ve been going at this for an hour.”

You rolled your eyes as Tony’s voice made a That’s What She Said joke in your head. “Nah, I got time.”

“Well, I’m parched.” Nat the Cat peered at your in-your-own-head face, hoping you were alright. But alright was relative, anyway. “Want me to grab you a bottle of water?”

“Pass.” You came back to reality with a fake smile and walked over to the dummies. “I’m gonna practice the new move you taught me.”

“Right.” She bit her cheek to keep from going Dr. Phil on you. “See you later, then.”

“Byesie-daisy.” You didn’t even hear her retreating footsteps as you went to town on the foam-figures. Maybe you’d better stick to the punching bag. These dummies weren’t holding up so well.

 

“Nice form.”

“Huh? Oh, thanks.” You did a few more jabs, before turning to the Winter Soldier. “Did you want a turn with Gerard?”

“Ger- you named the punching bag?”

“Yeah. It feels more personal.” You kept your elbows tucked in as you executed a few more punches in between words. “So what’s up, Bucks?”

“Tony’s looking for you.”

“He can ask Jarvis to beep me.” You waved the Kim-Possible Inspired gadget Tony had made last week. Nevermind that they’d gone out of style about 2 decades ago.

“He asked me to relay it to you personally.”

You turned and stared at Bucky. “And you acquiesced?!”

“I was on my way here anyway.” He edged you slightly to the side so he could do this awesome kick on Gerard. “And I had a sneaking suspicion you may have taken the batteries out of your beeper.”

“They’re charging,” you retorted, before running to the bleachers and stuffing the stupid machine under one of the seats. “Shh. Don’t tell.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He waved you towards the door before going back to doing footwork. Damn. No wonder his calves were nicer than yours.

“Stop looking at my legs, (y/n).”

“Fine!!”

 

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

Tony jumped as you tiptoed behind him and did your best Jarvis impression.

“Holy Shit, (y/n)! Don’t do that! You know I have nightmares of Jarvis coming to life as a killer robot!!”

“Exactly,” you cooed, before hopping onto the lab table and laying down.

“You’re being distracting.”

“Am not.”

“You’re practically asking me to ravage you. Which would be unsanitary for our current experiment.”

“You’re the one who told Bucky to come get me.”

“What? No I didn’t!”

“But he said-“

“You know I never tell Frosty what to do.” He winced at the thought. “He scares me.”

“Huh.” You wondered what made Bucky pranky today. Oh well. “Well, guess I’ll go shower then.”

“Wait.” He grabbed your wrist as you slipped past him.

“Hmm?” His sudden touch surprised you, and you stopped in your tracks.

“Can I join?”

“Oh come on!” You snatched your hand back, hoping your annoyance seemed fully playful.

“I was just kidding,” he whined, satisfying your self-doubt. “I actually wanted to talk to you.”

“Can it wait? I’m sweating like a pig here.”

“It’s sexy,” he offered.

“You are a bigass liar.”

“Am not!” He argued.

“Are too.”

“Well, I’m about to prove you wrong.” He spoke proudly, before looking uncertain. It threw you off.

You gripped the table with your hands behind your back; to steady yourself, while hiding this newfound fear from him. “Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

He took a deep breath. “It’s about Michelle.”

 

“You did what?!”

“I told (y/n) Tony was looking for her,” Bucky stated, surprised at Nat the Cat’s outburst.

“No, not you.” She snapped, before giving him an apologetic look. She turned back to Clint, angry again.

“He deserved it!”

“We cannot have you starting fights around Bruce. The serum he’s working on hasn’t been tested yet!”

“What’s going on?” Thor walked in, saw Nat the Cat’s face, and wished he hadn’t asked.

“Clint, here, decided to beat Tony to a pulp right next to Bruce.”

“Brother Barton, that is most unwise.” Thor agreed adamantly, more scared of the Black Widow than the Hulk.

“Bruce was in the bathroom.” Clint finally got a word in, peeved.

“Oh.”

“Mhmm.” Your bestie channeled his inner Black Bus Driver Woman.

“…nevermind then.”

“That’s right.” Nat the Cat gave Clint a look, telling him he was pushing his luck, but he remained unfazed.

“…so who wants ice cream? I’m buying.” Thor waved his wad of bills, having just learned how to cash his paycheck.

“Everyone, I think.” Steve offered.

“Let me go get (y/n) then-“

“Except her, Thor. And Tony.” Thor shook his blonde mane, unable to fathom the two of you passing up free sweets.

“I’ll explain later.”

“Thank you, Natasha.”

 

“So, the truth is…we did kiss-“

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

“But it wasn’t- wait what?” Tony had geared himself up so heavily that he almost missed your interruption.

“The lipstick, hon.”

“Oh.” He rubbed his mouth with his hand instinctively, as you watched, unblinking. Feeling your gaze, he coughed and continued. “Anyway, it was only for like a second. The rest of the time, I really was doing CPR.”

“Yeah. I saw the bruising. She should really watch her blood sugar.”

“…are you taking that nursing course?”

“It’s called common sense, Tony.”

“I think it’s a little more than that.” He replied cheekily, while avoiding your face. “Anyway, I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m really glad you told me.”

He hesitated, afraid how you’d react after he spoke the next words. “I just want you to know you can trust me.”

After all the incidents like this, the almost-mistakes, the barely-crossing-the-line, the sweet words that meant nothing and the flirting that stopped short of infidelity, you had no reason to take his words the way he wanted you to.

So he was surprised when you said what he’d hoped beyond hope that you would.

“I trust you, Tony.”

 

“I have a bad feeling about those two.” Bruce spoke up from behind a huge waffle cone, surprising the group.

“I don’t know; they really do love each other.” Steve urged.

“Love is a strong word, Brother Rogers.”

“But accurate,” Nat the Cat added.

“I don’t know, have you ever heard them say it to each other?”

“In front of us?” Thor rolled his eyes. “Hardly. They’ve said literally everything else. And done. Everything else. The two of them really have no shame.”

“It’s easy to be raunchy in public!” Clint exclaimed. “Being vulnerable, though, that’s something else.”

“Thank you Oprah.”

“Whatever, you were thinking it Tasha.”

“You know what I’m thinking?”

“What, Bucky?”

“Let’s shut the hell up and enjoy our ice cream. Since Thor accidentally overpaid by a hundred and we’re all gonna need to order about four more items each.”

“…THOR!!!!”

 

Tony stared at you, inches away from him, unable to believe his ears.

“…I’m sorry?” Were the words he finally came up with.

“You already apologized.”

“No, I meant it as a not-sure-I-heard-correctly phrase.”

“Ah.”

“…could you repeat it?”

Normally, you would’ve uttered a ‘seriously?!’ followed by a smack on the arm or a step on the toe.

Things were different, though.

You weren’t sure you’d ever been able to speak the words as definitively as you were now.

So you obliged.

“I trust you, Tony Stark.”

“…wow.” The look of astonishment mixed with happiness would’ve broken your heart was it not already in shambles from the tossing and turning the months had brought.

“Yeah.”

“…I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve you, (y/n).” He was looking at you openly, honestly, and you’d never expected to hear those words coming from him.

“You have saved the world a few times.”

“Even so.” He looked at his feet, taking it all in. “After everything I’ve put you through these few months…”

Finally, he was admitting what he’d been holding back; not the half-wit excuses or the badly made-up stories, but the truth of the matter itself; that he was a troublemaker, that he was playing with hearts, and that everyone else was losing.

“I’ve been a real jerk, (y/n).” He walked towards you, his hands loose at his side. “I’ve always been this playboy, and the image kind of got buried into my head.”

“And penis.”

He laughed ruefully, reaching for your hair to give it a ruffle. You side-stepped easily, letting it fall flat. Still, he continued.

“I guess I wasn’t really sure; not about you, but about myself. If I really wanted to give up this lifestyle that I’d become so accustomed to.”

“It has it’s perks.” You’d stepped back once more, but he was too caught up in his moment of absolution.

“So many beautiful women, so little time. Until now. I’ve finally decided I can let it go. For you.”

“I’m flattered.”

The chill in your voice woke up out of his reveling, so he assumed his last statement had brought on this response. “I did include you in the so many beautiful women, just so you know.”

“Thanks.”

He assumed that you were still raw from this moment of intimacy, so he opened his arms.

“I’m sure you have something you want to say, love. Let’s hear it. Then we can get on to the money-making. Or maybe love-making.” He winked and the knife in your stomach twisted a little once more.

You closed your eyes, to take in this moment once more; to hold onto for the days ahead. Or months.

 

“I loved you, Tony.”

His eyes widened, at the first admission from either of you, and at the use of past tense.

“(y/n)…”

“Any woman must have, in order to stay as long as I did.”

“…” He didn’t know what to say. Was he supposed to say it back now?

“It was almost sick, you know. Like I was torturing myself; every night you stayed out late, every smell of another woman’s perfume on your cheek.”

“(y/n)-“

“Anyone in their right mind would have left. But maybe someone who could fall in love with you had to be a little sick to begin with, right?” You let out a bitter laugh, and felt it echo back.

“You wanted me to trust you; when you had no right to ask me of it in the first place.”

“I-“

“You made me weak, when I should have been strong. I could see it so clearly; what you were doing, and what you were doing to me. But it was like I was mentally ill; I was suffering, but I couldn’t leave you.”

“Stop it, (y/n)!” He cried out, completely thrown off. You ignored him.

“I finally figured it out, Tony.

I was in love with you.

I was lovesick.”

 

“…was?” The word caught in his throat.

 

“It seems I found the antidote.”

“I found I could trust you.” You stared straight through him, and he shivered involuntarily.

“You can trust me, (y/n). You can trust me now.”

“Yes, I can.” You felt a devil’s smile cross your face, and almost enjoyed the look of dismay on your former lover’s face.

“I can trust that you’ll betray me.”

“Don’t do this-“

“I can trust that you’ll put yourself first. I can trust that you’ll wander off; to do what you want to do.”

He shook his head adamantly. “That was before, (y/n).”

“And I trust you to do it again. And again.”

“I can change!!”

“I trust that you won’t.”

He reached out his arms to shake you out of this trance; the way he wanted to shake the doubt out of you yesterday.

You backed away, reaching for the doorknob. “I was lovesick, Tony.”

He stood at a distance, afraid you’d run if he tried to chase you. “We can still be in love.”

 

“Still?”

 

“I loved you too,” he whispered quietly.

You thought you heart was broken; but you felt it break again just then.

You saw the apology he couldn’t put into words on his face.

But your words were ready.

“Your love was my sickness, Tony.”

 

“But your reality is my cure.”

**Author's Note:**

> BOOHOOHOOOOOO
> 
> poll 1: which part hurt the most?  
> for me it's when Clint storms past you in the hall; he's so upset but he doesn't want you to know because it will hurt you, and he doesn't stop because he's afraid he'll tell you
> 
> I CANT THINK OF ANYMORE POLLS THIS IS TOO SAD
> 
> SHARE YOUR FEELS BELOW
> 
> i don't know why i'm doing this to tony. i love tony. he's my favorite. and i haven't even watched civil war yet. I don't know if i can. i think it may just break me completely.
> 
> I LOVE TONY.  
> BUT THIS IS BAD TONY.
> 
> leave a comment below lovelies!! i'll try to write something happy soon!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker (the escalation at the end is probably the mindfuck)
> 
> p.s. Pharm you said you wanted to read something that made you cry.... did this help? :P


End file.
